Showing posts with label Gingrich. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gingrich. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Newt and the Devil


Department of Acquisitions
Hell, Georgia  66666

Dear Beelzebub,

I am inquiring about the possibility of selling my soul in exchange for the Republican presidential nomination this year.  I am at wit’s end and am doing this only because I believe I have no other recourse.

Yours in flaming eternity,

Newt Gingrich



Dear Mr. Gingrich,

Thank you for your inquiry.  This has been a busy year here in the underworld.  We have had quite a backlog of enquiries.  We have had to delay the foreclosure on Dick Cheney’s soul for some time, but I am sure that his will be a proud addition to those of Saddam Hussein, Pol Pot, Stalin, James Earl Ray and John Wilkes Booth. 
I turned your request over to our title search department and at first they had difficulty verifying that you possessed a soul.  Upon digging deeper into the flaming pit of our souls registry department, we discovered that your “soul” had already been heavily encumbered by a number of lien holders. Among these claimants are a number of ex-wives and girlfriends, the Republican Party,  the Tea Party, the Koch Brothers, Exxon-Mobil, Blackwater and a variety of  groups and individuals too numerous to mention.  Unfortunately, we cannot compete with this list and cannot risk putting ourselves at the back of the line.
We do sincerely appreciate that the work you are presently doing on Earth parallels the goals of this department, but legal obstacles prevent a merger or acquisition at this time.

May hell never freeze over!

Burnie Bush
Assistant Secretary to the Chief Demon
Fire Pit 7734
Hell GA 66666







Thursday, March 1, 2012

Gingrich not Pond Scum?


A group of North American biologists has spoken out concerning a recent posting comparing Republican candidate Newt Gingrich to pond scum.

In a press release, Dr. Carole Wong, spokesperson for the North American Conference of Biologists, stated, “Even pond scum has a small, but positive, effect on the planets ecology.”

Monday, January 23, 2012

Future of the Court?

Ponder this:  if we accidentally elect  Newt Gingrich president  will he have Justices Roberts, Alioto, Thomas and Scalia arrested and brought before him in him in handcuffs for the crime of being judicial "activists?"

Three Supreme Court Cases That Should Worry You

Posted on Dec 18, 2011
AP / J. Scott Applewhite

Justices Alito, left, and Roberts pose in front of the Supreme Court of the United States. The two men have helped engineer radical legal change in America.
At his 2005 Senate confirmation hearing, John Roberts, the nominee of President George W. Bush to become the 17th chief justice of the United States, promised to serve in the neutral fashion of a baseball umpire and lead the Supreme Court away from all manner of judicial activism. “[I]t’s my job to call balls and strikes,” he testified, “and not to pitch or bat.”
Few, if any, observers took Roberts at his word, given his track record as a Republican warhorse, including stints as a clerk to Chief Justice William Rehnquist and as deputy solicitor general under the first President Bush. But even the skeptics were not prepared for the judicial counterrevolution that Roberts and his conservative high court brethren have engineered since.
In the space of a few short years, the Roberts court has transformed American law with its miscarriages of justice. Among its dubious lowlights, the court has invented [italics and bold-face added] a Second Amendment individual right to bear arms, erected new barriers to age and sex discrimination lawsuits, undercut environmental protection, and, in the Citizens United case—its crowning glory to date—it has recognized corporations as people under the First Amendment with the constitutional right to spend without restraint on political attack ads.
Anyone hoping the pace of the counterrevolution might slow is apt to be disappointed by the time the court completes its current term. If present trends persist, and there is little reason to believe they won’t, 2012 will be remembered as the year the court rewrote the constitutional boundaries between federal and state authority, severely curtailing federal initiatives on behalf of working people, minorities and the poor.
Here are the three pending cases that best define the agenda:

When the 2010 census revealed that the population of Texas had grown by 4.2 million, the state’s Legislature was required to redraw congressional voting districts to comply with the one-person, one-vote standards of the Voting Rights Act of 1965. But in a classic “oops” moment, the Legislature and Republican Gov. Rick Perry remapped the playing field in a way that minimized the electoral clout of the 2.8 million Hispanics who had migrated to the Lone Star State in the previous decade.
Texas, like most southern states and counties with a history of using poll taxes and literacy tests to stifle minority voting, is required under the Voting Rights Act to obtain “pre-clearance” from the Justice Department or a three-judge court in Washington, D.C., before changes to electoral maps can take effect. The Perry plan was so outrageous that even before the review process was completed, civil rights groups persuaded a three-judge federal panel in San Antonio to scuttle the Republican remap and craft a redistricting plan fashioned by the judges. 
With Texas gaining four new House seats in the 2012 elections, the Roberts court is poised to hand Perry an undeserved legal victory that could ensure continued Republican dominance of the lower chamber. A pro-Perry ruling could also deal a death blow to the pre-clearance mandate in general, after a 2009 decision, also from Texas, which eased the ability of municipalities to claim exemptions from the mandate (Northwest Austin Municipal Utility Dist. v. Holder).
Oral argument has been set for Jan. 9, and a decision is expected in time for the March Texas primary.
The Arizona Immigration Law: Arizona v. United States
Enacted in 2010, Arizona’s SB 1070 is the love child of former state senator and rabid immigrant-rights basher Russell Pearce and Gov. Jan Brewer. Among its several provisions, the statute requires state law enforcement officers to ascertain the immigration status of anyone they stop if they have reason to believe the detainee might be an undocumented immigrant. The statute also makes it a crime under state law for undocumented workers to seek employment if they are not registered and authorized to work by the federal government.
In April, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals enjoined the act’s offending provisions, holding that under the Supremacy Clause of the U.S. Constitution, Arizona’s attempt to criminalize aspects of immigration were “pre-empted” by federal immigration law. The pre-emption doctrine is the long-standing principle that only Congress and the federal government have the authority to exercise certain powers, such as the right to declare war, make foreign policy or print money.
In 1956, in a case with haunting similarities to the Arizona challenge and that ought to be controlling precedent, the Supreme Court cited the pre-emption doctrine to strike down a Pennsylvania law that had made it a state crime to advocate overthrow of the federal government (Pennsylvania v. Nelson). But in May, in yet another signal that the Roberts court is intent on altering the federal-state balance, the Supreme Court brushed aside pre-emption concerns to uphold an Arizona law authorizing the state to revoke the licenses of employers who knowingly hire the undocumented (Chamber of Commerce v. Whiting).
Oral argument on the fate of SB 1070 has yet to be set. In the meantime, Justice Elena Kagan has recused herself from deliberations because of her prior involvement in the issue as solicitor general.
Copycat legislation mirroring Arizona’s has spread to South Carolina, Utah, Georgia and Alabama, whose new immigration law has been blasted in a recent Human Rights Watch report as “grounded in discrimination” and fostering “a culture of fear.”
The court’s decision on SB 1070 will likely determine the fate of these other laws as well, accelerating the transfer of powers long held by the federal government to individual states determined to scapegoat the undocumented.
Obamacare: Florida v. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Baseball has its World Series, football its Super Bowl. The concerted legal attack on the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act of 2010 is the dream moment the Roberts court has been longing for.
The immediate legal issue before the court is vitally important and by now well known: whether Congress has the constitutional power to require virtually all adult U.S. citizens and legal residents to buy health insurance or pay a penalty. But as critical as health insurance is in the everyday lives of all people, there is an underlying legal issue the case raises that is even more critical: whether Congress and the president in enacting national health care legislation have overstepped their authority under Article 1, Section 8, Clause 3 of the U.S. Constitution, otherwise known as “the Commerce Clause,” which grants Congress the power to regulate “Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States. …”
Although it lacks the fanfare of the First Amendment and concepts like due process and equal protection, the Commerce Clause has been the basis for a vast panoply of progressive federal legislation, ranging from the National Labor Relations and Fair Labor Standards acts of the 1930s to the Civil Rights Act of 1964 as well as Occupational Health and Safety, Equal Pay and Clean Air and Water acts of more recent vintage. 
It took FDR’s threat to expand the Supreme Court from nine to 11 members to move the court to reconsider its once highly restrictive interpretation of the Commerce Clause that threatened to derail the New Deal. And it was not until the 1990s and 2000s that the judicial pendulum began to reverse course, as the court under Rehnquist inaugurated what some on the right have touted as an era of New Federalism, with decisions curbing federal regulation of education and invalidating portions of the Violence Against Women Act.
Since the federal circuit courts are split on the constitutionality of Obamacare, it’s understandable that the Supreme Court would step in to provide clarity. But here, as elsewhere, the trend is ominous. The challenge to Obamacare affords the Roberts court the opportunity to finish the job of New Federalism, and the implications for the country’s future could not be more profound. Would the demise of Obamacare have a legal domino effect, leading piece by piece, case by case, to future efforts to eviscerate Medicare, environmental protection and even Social Security? Oral arguments are expected late in the court’s term.
In Federalist Paper No. 78, Alexander Hamilton supported the creation of an independent court system, terming the judiciary the “least dangerous” branch of government because it lacked the capacity to “annoy or injure” what he called “the political rights of the Constitution.” But as the three cases topping its 2012 docket suggest, the Roberts court is moving to consolidate nothing less than a judicial counterrevolution. 

Thanks to David Allen Tree for this post.

editor's note:   
definition:  Judicial Activism:  a decision that you do not agree with.

Friday, November 25, 2011

No Newts is Good News

Here are some more of the Amphibian's cartoons


Thursday, November 24, 2011

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Where do the Republican candidates for president get their money?

OP-ED COLUMNIST
Republican Financial Plans
By GAIL COLLINS
Published: November 18, 2011

Our topic for today is: Where do the Republican candidates for president get their money?

Earl Wilson/The New York Times
Gail Collins

The personal finances of the G.O.P. presidential hopefuls are important for two reasons. One is that we’re talking about people who aspire to the most prestigious and important job the nation has to offer. The other is that these folks seem to have done really, really well. Perhaps, they can offer career tips.

Remember when Newt Gingrich claimed that the mortgage giant Freddie Mac paid him $300,000 for his advice “as a historian?” Thousands of young history majors who were resigned to a future in which they would pad out their $2,000-a-semester salaries as part-time adjunct lecturers with fulfilling careers in bartending suddenly were engulfed with new hope.

Unfortunately, it turned out that Newt’s income actually comes from running think tanks that help promote the corporate clients’ goals in the public sector. That may be a little harder for the youth of America to put their heads around. But, kids, if anybody asks you what you want to be when you grow up, say: policy guru.

Gingrich wants everyone to understand that he does not lobby. Really, whatever the exact legal definition of lobbying is, that is something he did not do. The Gingrich Group got what turns out to be about $1.6 million to not-lobby for Freddie Mac, one of a long, long list of clients. Let’s all pause to recall the high dudgeon with which Gingrich announced, during one of the debates, that Representative Barney Frank ought to be put in jail for being “close to” Freddie Mac lobbyists. What kind of politician demands that an elected official be incarcerated for hanging out with the same people who are paying said politician $1.6 million or so to not-lobby?

This is an unusually delusional presidential field. Mitt Romney’s greatest political asset is that he doesn’t seem to actually believe it when he says he’s been consistent on matters like health care reform or abortion. Thank God there’s at least one guy on the stage who knows he’s fibbing.

Romney is the richest person running for president, worth somewhere between $190 million and $250 million. Most of that came from his work at Bain Capital, a firm that bought up troubled companies and gave them makeovers. Although many people lost their jobs when Bain Capital reeled in their employers, Romney’s work did create a lot of new value. Which, on occasion, Bain Capital walked away with, leaving the remnants of the company flopping helplessly on the beach.

In 2010, Mitt earned somewhere between $9.6 million and $43.2 million, according to The National Journal’s calculation of his financial reports. I believe I speak for us all when I say that there seems to be a lot of room in the middle of that estimate, but you get the idea. Much of that came from investments, but Romney also gets quite a bit of cash for making speeches. He once made $68,000 for one appearance before the International Franchise Association in Las Vegas.

People, if you were raking in more than $9.6 million a year, would you waste your time talking to the International Franchise Association? Perhaps you would if international franchises were especially close to your heart. But, in that case, why charge them $68,000? There are a lot of mysteries in the Mitt saga. For instance, if you were a very wealthy father of five energetic young boys, would you choose to spend your vacation driving the whole family to Canada with the dog strapped to the roof of the car? Wouldn’t it be more fun to take a plane to Disneyland?

Some of the Republican candidates seem to have no visible means of support whatsoever — like Rick Santorum, who has seven kids. You would hate to think they were going without shoes just so Dad could continue his never-ending quest to break into the 5 percent range in the polls.

But, good news! Santorum made at least $970,000 in 2010, in all those mysterious ways unsuccessful Republican candidates for president seem to have of making money. Part of it came from being a commentator for Fox News, and part of it came from Santorum’s work at — yes! — a think tank.

Rick Perry does not have a vast fortune, although he is blessed with friends who fly him around on private jets, take him on cool vacations and, occasionally, sell him real estate at bargain-basement prices. This week, Perry laced into Barack Obama as a man who could not possibly understand what ordinary Americans were going through because he “grew up in a privileged way.” This is a strange way to describe the president’s upbringing — particularly when Romney, the guy Perry is actually supposed to be running against, was the son of the head of American Motors. Maybe he got the two mixed up.

All I can tell you is this. Rick Perry will never be paid by a tank to think.



Thanks to David Allen Tree for this post.