Conservatives' trust in science declines
from March 29 LA Times
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-conservatives-science-20120329,0,2248977.story
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Newt and the Devil
Department of
Acquisitions
Hell, Georgia
66666
Dear Beelzebub,
I am inquiring about the
possibility of selling my soul in exchange for the Republican presidential
nomination this year. I am at wit’s end
and am doing this only because I believe I have no other recourse.
Yours in flaming
eternity,
Newt Gingrich
Dear Mr. Gingrich,
Thank you for your inquiry.
This has been a busy year here in the underworld. We have had quite a backlog of
enquiries. We have had to delay the
foreclosure on Dick Cheney’s soul for some time, but I am sure that his will be
a proud addition to those of Saddam Hussein, Pol Pot, Stalin, James Earl Ray
and John Wilkes Booth.
I turned your request over to our title search department
and at first they had difficulty verifying that you possessed a soul. Upon digging deeper into the flaming pit of
our souls registry department, we discovered that your “soul” had already been
heavily encumbered by a number of lien holders. Among these claimants are a
number of ex-wives and girlfriends, the Republican Party, the Tea Party, the Koch Brothers, Exxon-Mobil,
Blackwater and a variety of groups and
individuals too numerous to mention. Unfortunately,
we cannot compete with this list and cannot risk putting ourselves at the back
of the line.
We do sincerely appreciate that the work you are presently
doing on Earth parallels the goals of this department, but legal obstacles
prevent a merger or acquisition at this time.
May hell never freeze over!
Burnie Bush
Assistant Secretary to the Chief Demon
Fire Pit 7734
Hell GA
66666
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Cheney finally has a heart!
I couldn't call it a heart transplant. That would imply he had a heart to begin with. I'd call it a heart implant.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Barry said it!
I usually don't quote Barry Goldwater on this site, but here goes.
http://front.moveon.org/barry-goldwaters-warning-about-our-current-republican-party-in-one-graphic/?rc=fb.rp
http://front.moveon.org/barry-goldwaters-warning-about-our-current-republican-party-in-one-graphic/?rc=fb.rp
Oil Prices: a bit of Logic
A Bit of Logic
By John Mollan
Given: The real
decision making process in the Republican Party is made by a small group of
immensely wealthy white men at private clubs and functions.
Given: The most
influential members of this group are the owners of multinational firms
including the petrochemical industry, the health insurance oligopolies, investment
bankers and pharmaceutical manufacturers.
Given: These people would do absolutely anything to
bring President Obama down.
Question: Do you
suppose that the sharp increase in American fuel prices we have witnessed
lately is an intentional ploy by the multinational energy corporations to
unseat the President? At the present time, fuel consumption is
down, refineries are “closed for maintenance” and the United States is Exporting gasoline. They certainly have the power to do it!
Easy Solution to Family Problem
| First, you have to move to Florida and get him to move
too. Second, you start an argument: you tell him, you hate him because he
beats his kids, cheats on his wife, hates everybody who isn't white and talks
trash at pickle ball. It doesn't matter that none of it is true because you
viscerally hate him just the same. Three, begin to shout and move toward him menacingly. If he has any kind of brain [maybe that's why you hate because you don't], he'll retreat. When he's fifteen feet away, you shout his name, he turns hesitantly, that's when [step four] you pull your 45 and shoot him in the face. Five: When the cops come, because you called them, you claim he was threatening you. Voila! Your enemy is dead, and you are home free. What's even better, there will be a whole bunch of Americans out there who will proclaim you a hero. Art Woodstone |
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